Most of us desire to find that “special someone” to receive unconditional love, support and adoration from for the rest of our lives. There is a period of time, early on in the honeymoon phase of relationships, when we believe that this attractive and sexy human being we are falling in love with will never break our hearts, disappoint us, annoy us or “let themselves go”. Then reality sets in.
Work, kids, finances and other grown-up responsibilities and expectations begin taking its toll on our waistlines, mood and energy. Perhaps we try to cope by drinking a bit too much alcohol or making daily trips to Starbucks. Maybe we no longer work out consistently in an attempt to create more time or simply because we are too exhausted to care. Or perhaps we try to eat away our worries and insecurities with late night binges of sweets and starches.
The consequence of these ineffective coping mechanisms is that we lose our sexy and our relationships struggle. The extra fat and cellulite we obsess over in the mirror fuels our feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment. Intimacy diminishes. Our spouses may have wandered down the same path, so we find ourselves looking at each other wondering how we got here.
So where am I going with all of this?
I had a huge revelation about twelve years ago that no man, scale or jean size can bear the responsibility of making me feel beautiful or worthy. Let that sink in. How many times do we put expectations on people and things outside of our control to dictate how we feel about ourselves? This simple revelation gave me power and has fueled my health journey ever since.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t desire for our husbands (or wives) to compliment us or say, “I love you” often, but these statements don’t come free. They require us to show up as the best version of ourselves so what it said, is really meant. Only from this authentic place will our marriages become stronger and more passionate. Otherwise, things will be done or said out of expectation, habit or fear, destroying intimacy and fueling resentment.
So I ask you, what have you done to take care of yourself lately? Where are you blaming outside circumstances for the lack of care you are giving yourself? Where are you insecure and expecting your spouse to do or say something to take away that insecurity? Stop waiting. It’s never going to happen. It’s time to take your power back and own your role in your health and happiness.
When you take action to nurture your emotional and physical health, your confidence increases and confidence is sexy. Begin with eating more real foods and less chemically enhanced processed foods. Drink more water and less wine (at least through the week). Find a way to laugh everyday by yourself and with your spouse. Remember what you use to do to have fun, and do it!
Bottom Line: Be the version of yourself that you would want to be with!
If you need some support in rediscovering the best version of you, schedule a >>free coaching session<< with one of my professional health coaches.
Amber is CEO of The Healthy Edge. She has passionately
created The Healthy Edge lifestyle system and a comprehensive health coach certification program to further her mission of empowering people to live their most abundant life.