As I coach women and walk with them on their journey to healing and health, we always run into the roadblock of trust. To put trust in something that we have little or no personal experience, evidence or proof of can be challenging to imagine, let alone implement. However, there is power in discovering that there may be a gap between what we think we trust versus what we need to trust. This gap may be what is holding us back from the results we can’t seem to get or hold onto.
Let’s take diets for example. Most of us, if we are honest, would admit it is easier to put our trust in the latest diet fad endorsed by celebrities and compelling testimonies of people we don’t even know than it is to trust ourselves to eat right and move our bodies. The diet industry has invested trillions of dollars to make sure we doubt that we have the wisdom, willpower or patience to be successful on our own. This message has led to a generation of women who do not trust themselves or their own bodies. While we trust that the process of eating more whole foods, drinking clean water, limiting our consumption of processed and sugary foods, cutting back on caffeine, moving daily, getting adequate sleep and managing our stress will make us healthier, most often we lack trust in ourselves to execute the process and trust in our bodies to respond. Can you relate?
Let’s take a look at some of the ways distrust shows up in our health journey and how it keeps us stuck and resistant to growth and progress.
- We don’t trust ourselves to make healthy decisions in difficult situations or around foods that are tempting.
We often say that we know what to do, but we just can’t seem to follow-thru on our good intentions. If I had a dollar for every time I heard this come out of a woman’s mouth, I would be writing this blog in my mansion in Bermuda. Seriously. But just because it is normal for women to think this way, does not mean it is right and it definitely doesn’t mean it is helpful.
At the core of this mindset is a belief that we don’t have what it takes because something outside of ourselves has more power than our good intentions. Here’s proof. Have you ever said any of the following statements?
- I am a sugar addict.
- I am just can’t live without
- I have no control over ____.
- I have no willpower when it comes to ______.
- It’s too hard to do ______.
- I can’t _____.
To speak any of the above statements is a guarantee that we will struggle to ever make forward progress and have long-term success in our health. This may sound extreme, but sometimes an extreme, over-the top, mind blowing, paradigm shift is necessary to get out of the rut of mediocrity and complacency. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. What we say comes from a place inside of us that thinks it and believes it. What we believe powerfully influences what we create.
For example, the statement: I am a sugar addict, is a reflection of a belief that has been adopted as an identity. It will manifest in many powerless defeats with sugar because our minds are hardwired to gather evidence to prove we are right. Even though there may be substantial and compelling evidence a belief is not true, our minds will only take in the evidence that upholds the beliefs we are come into agreement with – even if they don’t serve us or support our goals. Therefore, every timewemake the choiceto have sugar, we will automatically default to blaming our addiction, relinquishing our power and leaving us hopeless. This cycle repeats over and over and over again and until it becomes so ingrained in our brain that it feels as if it is who we are.
We will have no chance of victory over sugar (or alcohol, chocolate, fast food, cheese, laziness, negative thinking, etc.) if we partner with a belief that we are addicted and therefore surrender our power over to the addiction. The definition of addiction is a compulsive physiological need to indulge in something repeatedly. The societal view of addiction is that it is more powerful than we are. However, people overcome addiction, compulsions and mindsets everyday. The people that do this are the people that BELIEVE it is possible and act on that belief.
Here’s where we have to bring up the topic of trust again. Do we trust the power of the addiction or do we trust that nothing has dominion or power over us? If we call on Jesus as our Lord and Savior, sin is no longer our master (Romans 6:14). The bible says, greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world (John 4:4). Do we trust in the power and victory over sin promised to us as believers or do we trust the lie of the enemy that we are still shackled to sin? Are we more than conquerors through him who loved us or are we destined to live in defeat? Ladies, this is real. What we decide to believe and therefore trust will be the difference between living victorious, free and whole or living powerless, hopeless and frustrated.
Here’s another thing to consider. There is a difference between fact and truth. It may be a fact that you have had many instances of overindulging in chocolate (or fill in the blank) and not making healthy choices. That is a fact, however there is also a truth that you have the ability and power to make a different choice and that your past does not dictate your future.
In order to get results in our health, it is essential to uncover falsebelief systems we are operating from and placing our trust in. Nothing is truth unless we accept it as our truth. The difficulty is most of us lack the ability to evaluate our own thinking, past, circumstances and behavior in an unbiased way. Most of us have beliefs we didn’t even voluntarily choose because of our upbringing. This is why beliefs can feel as if they are part of our DNA. So in order to bring about change, an external trigger is typically required to bring to light that maybe, just maybe, what we believe about ourselves and the world around us is not truth, but rather facts that have false beliefs attached to them.
From personal experience, I can tell you that evaluating your belief systems and rewriting them is an incredibly humbling experience and a blow to the ego. Only someone who is willing to be more committed to change than protecting their pride and need to be right will have the fortitude and courage to go on this transformative journey. This is why I require all of my potential clients to have a free coaching session with me. An open, curious and surrendered heart and mind have to be present for the process of transformation to happen and not everyone is ready. They may be ready for results, but they are not ready for the process. If someone is not ready to go within, they will only experience frustration and disappointment. Results are not achieved from the outside-in as diets would have us believe.
Here is another way distrust shows up in our health journey.
- We don’t trust that our body will release the weight or that we will keep our results.
If we lack trust in our bodies and our ability to maintain our results, we will manifest a reality where we will always teeter between “I’m committed” and “I’m not committed”. We will struggle with being all-in or off the wagon. This could be linked to an underlying fear of success or fear of failure that manifests as anI can’t be successfulor I am a failurebelief. With either one of these beliefs, we believe we will avoid the disappointment of failure or the possibility of success if we simply don’t try or quit when we get close. However, the hard reality is that we simple end up living in a perpetual state of failure and mediocrity because we never get what we desire. Ugh.
Often, there is also a lack of trust that our body will respond to good nutrition, moderate exercise, stress management and a healthy mindset. This is ironic, since the only wayour body can be healthy is to put good stuff into it (food, water and thoughts) and do good stuff to it (stress management, exercise, sleep, etc.). But somewhere along the line, we partner with a false belief that this method of being healthy won’t work for our body, especially when it comes to weight loss. Many times this belief takes root from numerous failed diet attempts and lack of seeing immediate results when we eat well for two days or two weeks. Because of our impatience towards the process of getting healthy, we quickly revert back to a diet for quick weight loss – only to gain the weight back because it’s not sustainable, let alone enjoyable. We repeat this cycle over and over and over again. Instead of forming a belief that diets don’t work (at least not as a long-term solution), we make the failures personal, direct the blame towards our bodies and form unhealthy belief systems that keep us stuck in the cycle. Phew.
Ladies, we have to understand that there is absolutely NO DOWN SIDE to living a healthy lifestyle. But if we hold an expectation that we are going to release 10, 25 or 50 pounds quickly when we transition from a diet approach to a lifestyle approach, we are going to be stressed out and highly disappointed when we don’t see immediate results. The weight release will come, but we have to establish and commit to lifestyle change and give our bodies time to trust us again. Think about it. Our bodies have been taking the onslaught of restriction, deprivation and whatever other crazy methods we have tried. It is designed to survive, but it prefers to thrive. We have to invest in the process to switch from survive to thrive mode and this takes time, otherwise known as patience.
Speaking of patience. It is common sense that time is required to rebuild trust in a relationship that has been compromised. It not only takes a lot of time, it also takes a lot of consistency (in doing what is right) to build up what has been lost. The good news is trust can be rebuilt. This same process is true when it comes to our thinking and healing our bodies.
- What if we believed that there are no tricks to being the healthiest version of ourselves?
- What if we believed God created our bodies to thrive, not just survive?
- What if we trusted ourselves to do what is best in every situation?
- What if we believed loving and being kind to our bodies would produce results?
Let’s be open to hear the voice of truth and reason today. A diet won’t tell us what’s really keeping us stuck because a diet can’t fix what is really broken – our thoughts and beliefs. Anyone can change their behavior for a short period of time (this is the focus of a diet), but a change of heart and mindset is required for lifelong transformation. If you are living a less than exceptional and healthy life and are ready to evaluate and redefine where you put your trust so you can live free and whole, let’s chat. Click hereto schedule your free coaching session and let’s get to the core of what has been fueling your frustration and disappointment in yourself and your body!